Eschew Obfuscation

I love Netflix.

Having recently come into some free time, I chose to spend it on something that I have not in a very long time. Bad movies.

Now, the movies that I am watching are only bad in the sense that most of them would be despised by any audience today. The movies I am watching are all Kung Fu movies from China dating from the 1960′s, 70′s, and 80′s.

The dubbing is terrible, there are no subtitles, and the plots are still in China under a jar of wine somewhere.

My attraction to these films is completely tied to my enjoyment of martial arts when I was younger and the fond memories I have of waking up early on Saturday and making sure to stop watching cartoons at noon to watch Kung Fu Theatre. Ah, the memories of a happy childhood.  Thank you, Mom.

Bad as the movies are, I still find myself amazed at the sheer athleticism displayed by the actors. Yes, the fantastic leaps and other wire work is cool but that doesn’t diminish the skill involved.

Lastly, one of the endearing things for me is the slapstick that exists in many of these films. For example, I am currently watching a badly made up statue that looks much like the IO tower guardian in the original Tron with dirt all over him, try to kill a clueless guy while drinking food and wine offerings left by the clueless guy.

It’s silly, maybe even stupid, but it pleases me.

Isn’t that why we watch movies in the first place?

written by halfdime

It is a season for the giving of thanks.  We should all take time to acknowledge the many blessings of friends, family, and, in general, the good in life.

I have spoken at some length about my family.  They are truly wonderful and a source of much of my joy in life.  Adding to that are my friends who enrich my life with perspective and the occasional knock-down-drag-out conversation ending with, “I can’t believe you are really that stubborn.” [Please note that absence of an admission of error in that statement.]

Acknowledging that I am truly blessed by the rich associations that I have, I wish to move on to a thing for which I am thankful.

Caffeine.

Ah, yes, my intrepid friend who helps me battle the urge to be idle.  The magic molecule of twitch.  My thoughts are drawn to you today as I have been experiencing a bit of the down side of she for whom I am most thankful.

My wife has had bronchitis since last Wednesday.  In all seriousness, this truly sucks for her.  She can go about 30-90 minutes without having a full on, “Hey, is that my spleen?”, coughing fit that lasts anywhere from 10 seconds to a couple of minutes.  Very few things will disturb my slumber but when my wife is in pain, it wakes me right up.

In short, I haven’t been sleeping too much lately.

Forward to last night and between the jacked up sleep schedule that four days off of work with a sick wife gets you and taking the kids to school, I ended up with a little over three hours of chopped up sleep last night.  Oh, and I HAD TO GO TO WORK!

“It’s OK,” I think, “I can take the Stay Awake I keep in my desk!”

Now, for those of you playing the home game, please pay careful attention to the box.  Yes, campers, you read it right, 200mg.  In the past, when I have taken this, I have needed to push myself after a good nights rest.  Not, repeat, NOT after having just spent four days on the newborn sleep cycle concluded with a three hour romp for good measure.

Needless to say, I was, and remain, a bit loopy.

So, at approximately 1100, I downed the first tablet of twitch.  At 1130,  my arms began to tingle a bit and I could tell that it was really beginning to work when I couldn’t shut up between belching liquid inferno.

“Food!  Must have food to quench the burning!”

For those of you having trouble keeping up, caffeine and sugar are a pretty good combination because the sugar is rapidly consumed by the twitching which brings the consumer, hereafter referred to as TttTwITCH, back down as there is no more energy to consume.  Unfortunately for TttTwITCH’s coworkers, he has brought protein foods to work, ensuring a long-lasting low burn of calories so that the entire office may suffer at his hands.

LONGLIVECAFFEINE!

Not quite capable of putting these facts together, TttTwITCH decided that he was running out of juice around 1400 and had a meeting that he needed to be alert for.

Engage little-yellow-thunder the second.

It’s about ten to midnight now and I think I have managed to force two yawns since I came home at 1630.  You see, at 1630, I felt like I was going to fall asleep standing up.

At 1730, I had dinner.

At 1745, TttTwITCH was back in the house.

That my wife resisted crushing my skull tonight is a tribute to her patience.

And that’s why I love her and am thankful for her above all other blessings.

written by halfdime

There is so much that I have to be thankful for.  I have a wonderful spouse, two fantastic children and the ability to provide for them during these crazy economic times.  Add to that, I have had the wonderful opportunity to serve my community through the Boy Scouts of America for the better part of fifteen years now.  From time to time I take for granted the wonderful blessing of this association and the ability it gives me to positively impact society for the better.  Whether you support scouting or not, it cannot be denied that the program instills a sense of community service into its members, thereby improving society.

With that in mind, I want to address the volume of discontent to be found on the Internet.  I am amazed at the amount of discussion on the ills of society to be found in the blogosphere and other Internet sources.  It is amazing to me how so many people can be concerned about the ills of society and only contribute complaints.  I suppose this is a natural outgrowth of our increasingly self-centered society but it distresses me greatly.

So, here’s the point.  If you are in a position where you expend energy on grousing about a situation, focus on a way to fix it.  Don’t try to solve world hunger, just go out of your way to feed some one.  Volunteer in a soup kitchen.  Take a homeless guy a plate of food from your last dinner.

In short, DO something.

Something constructive.

If you complain about the ills of society, yet refuse to engage in repairs, you are a hypocrite.

Do not be offended.  We all wear the hypocrites hat from time to time.  Just go be a non-hypocrite.  If you choose to complain about being called a hypocrite, it does not fix the condition, it just makes you a disagreeable hypocrite.  And, let’s be honest, we’re just adding adjectives at this point, you should just get busy and work on fixing the problem.

For those of you that believe the only way to fix things is with money, you are missing the point.  The biggest impacts I have seen on the lives of young men I have had the opportunity to work with comes from the little things.  Sitting down to play a game of chess, talk about music, talk about the weather or even  playing baseball under a full moon!

Nothing shows someone their value more than giving them time.

I have to remind myself what a choice blessing it is that I have found something that both allows me to make a difference and have a good time.

I hope everyone can find something similar.

written by halfdime

It’s been so long since I’ve updated here that I half expected the site to have been taken down.

A big thanks to my benefactor for leaving it in place!

When last we met our intrepid adventurer, he had spun a tale of ambiguity and things that come forth from the mouth of babes.

As we approach nine months of silence, we find a number of new items consuming our subject.

First, as always, my family.  There has been quite a bit of turmoil and joy at the same time in my family this year.  So far, it has seen a large amount of strife with my father, followed by an awkward reconciliation [which has worked out very well, if not slowly], my wife being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, my step mother undergoing treatment for T-Cell Lymphoma [again] and the passing of two great people, my Aunt Alice and Uncle Albert.

Second, I have started back to school.  I want to finish my degree.  Of all the things I have not completed, this is the one thing that keeps nagging me.  I sure could use to save the money and I seriously doubt that a degree will affect my career. That said, it will be nice to finalize this and to get it done in Information Assurance and Security is just icing on the cake [this was not an option when I was going to school before].

Finally, surfing is still a large part of my life.  I love it.  It really helps me cope with the day to day drudgery of things.  I laugh more easily, find myself less flustered and all around enjoy spending time in the water.  The buddies that I have made as a side effect surfing have been great.  If you ever hear me sounding like the below, please feel free to club me.

I must admit that it feels odd to not be evangelizing something or having a specific topic.

Maybe next time. Hopefully it won’t be another nine months.

written by halfdime

So we’re all sitting around the kitchen table settling down to a big bag of choke-and-puke (what my father has always called fast food) for the first time in several weeks.  Me, The Boy, Girlie-Girl and Momma.  It’s a lovely setting with good behavior and innocent discussions about our days when Momma suddenly comments to the boy, “Wow!   You’ve got some big bags under your eyes!”

Not to be left alone in the boat, The Boy looks to Girlie-Girl and declares, “So does she!  And Daddy, too!”

Striving quickly to keep from being left out of the fun, Girlie-Girl says, “And Momma’s got bags too.”

Unable to constrain myself, I look at my wife and say, “Yes, but we call those fun-bags.”

Fortunately for me, Momma wasn’t chewing at the time and I was saved from a spray.

I’m just waiting from a call from school with the teacher talking about how Topher commented on her’s or another teacher’s “Fun Bags.”

I really need to work on that brain to mouth filter.

written by halfdime

First things, first:

• Yes, I voted.  I always do.
• No, I won’t tell you my vote if you don’t already know.
• No, I won’t ask you what you voted.  Ever.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen people get so involved in the legislative process.

Scores of new voters have turned out to vote for different issues and to truly put “The Process” to the test.

That is truly wonderful.

Unfortunately, in the press to win the day, both sides have managed to polarize people who would normally be quite happy to associate with each other.  Hurtful accusations fly across all of the various media channels as people in and out of the spotlight pontificate on the rights, abuses and motivations of “those people” depending on what side you’re on.  Both Yes and No on 8 sites have “fact” lists that  directly contradict each other.

Madness. 

If I vote Yes, my choice of labels are (aside from the normal idiot redneck labels):

• bigot
• hypocrite
• intolerant
• liar
• racist
• many others revolving around my desire to reinstate slavery

If I vote No, my choice of labels are (aside from the normal anti-homosexual labels):

• anti-family
• liar
• sinner
• and so forth (actually, I’ve not seen a good number of these, please comment)

How is it that people who would normally encourage debate on any topic suddenly become overwhelmingly
intolerant when these issues play out in the public space?

How can people claim to be enlightened and tolerant and then engage in name calling?

I’m truly disappointed at several self-claimed enlightened people for becoming the thing they condemn
claim to dislike most.  Demeaning someone or calling them names for voting their conscience in some hope
that they can intimidate them into changing their mind is a horrible thing to do.

Shame on you for becoming what you despise.
Shame on you for reducing yourself to useless name calling.
Shame on you for trading in your intellectual privilege.

Go pick a bar fight if you want to argue that way.

written by halfdime \\ tags: politics

I’ve had a long standing fascination with board sports and have recently been taking note of the enthusiasm with which a buddy of mine has for the sport.

Combine his enthusiasm, willingness to teach and loan me a board with my long standing fascination with the sport and you have the exact combination to get me in the water at 0630 on a Thursday morning before work.

Wow!  What a way to start the day!  Even though what I was doing in the water can only be described as entertaining the real surfers, it was wonderful.  I can’t think of a better way to kick off my day.

After about half an hour of paddle-paddle-splash and then a couple of failed attempts at sitting on the board – which, by the way, would appear to have been my buddies favorite part of the show since he was willing to take a slapper in the head to watch me careen over like an upside down buoy – I was exhausted.  I’m not even sure that I actually made it for half an hour.

So, wiped out, I paddle-paddle-splashed my way towards shore and caught a couple of long board belly waves on the way in.  I hung on the sand for about another twenty minutes watching my buddy surf and then he came in and we left.

We left the beach and went to the coffee shop for some coffee and hot chocolate.  We hung out for about another thirty and then went into work.

I’m hooked.  I’m going again this week even though I’m still sore from last time.

Hopefully I’ll get to hang one this week.

written by halfdime

When considering the things in life I’ve done and the various hazardous situations I’ve found/put myself in, I wonder at times what my true fascination is with fire.

No, really.  I must have something wired backwards in my head.

My internal dialogue goes something like this:

“Oh, look.  That’s a fire.”

“I bet it’s hot.”

“Oh, I doubt it’s nearly as hot as that OTHER fire we saw the other day.”

“You think so, eh?  How could we test that out?”

“I’d just stick my hand in there.  To make it scientific, count the number of singed hairs in a two second exposure.”

“Right!”

I suppose writing about it only puts me into the raving lunatic camp.

*sigh*

At the end of the day, I suppose the really marvelous thing is that people still come to me for advice with fire.

“Hey.  Nice fire there.  How hot do you think it is?”

“S’not that hot.  Look, here.  You can just barely make out the blisters forming under the blackened skin….!”

written by halfdime \\ tags: random

Below is the text of an email that I sent to someone to post on a forum that I didn’t feel like signing up for that already had a thread going on cloned Treo phones.

Enjoy!

I will apologize up front here as I’m tired and this is mostly just a
way to get past being pissed off at VZW for not watching out for the
customer.

I have a Treo 700p and it was cloned Friday night, just in time for the
weekend. If you’re wondering how to tell if your phone has been cloned,
it’s really easy. Call yourself from another phone. If you get no
indication whatsoever of that call happening, including voicemail
notification, you’re in trouble. If you periodically get through, it’s
likely due to the other phone having been turned off and your phone is
termporarily winning.

I just went through the process of getting my phone back from being
cloned. The most awesome part of this is the complete lack of support
that VZW gives to prevent the inconvenience of having your phone cloned.

The sequence of events:

1. Drive to Vegas for a weekend conference on a Thursday
2. Friday evening, no calls or text messages are getting through to my phone
3. Sunday, while driving back, I have eleven (11) voice mails with no evidence of a missed call or that I might have a voicemail.
4. Sunday night, contact VZW help (611) and find out that:

A) support will try to help you and tell you they believe that
your phone has been cloned. Once they believe that your phone
has been cloned, they will tell you that something is wrong
with the device and you should hard reset it.

This will do you no good, whatsoever. However, I’m pretty sure
that they have a pool running on the other end of the phone to
see how many customers they can stroke out by zapping all of
the data on their phones “on accident.”

B) The cloning and fraud department at VZW only works M-F,
0500-1800 PST. Obviously, this is because your phone can only
get cloned during banker hours. *SIGH*

C) Nobody at VZW can actually look at your account and tell you if
there are weird charges on the bill. In my case, there was no
indication of misuse during the episode and the one phone call
that I did get from the DR was from a local area code.

5. Monday morning, call VZW cloning/fraud department. I had to speak to two separate people to complete my phone transaction.

The first person was very kind and genuinely wanted to help me but
was an idiot. “Yes, Mr. HalfDime, I’m going to send you a text
message with the URL you can use to update your phone firmware
with.”

“But my phone has been cloned.”

“Right. Did you get the text message?”

The second person was pissed off to be alive. They cut me off
every time I started to say something and then seemed to think
that it was obvious that doing a complete restore from backup to
the device would not overwrite the settings just downloaded from
Palm.

Anyway, the information that you will need to get your phone uncloned,
or that you should use to keep from having it get cloned in the first
place:

1. Go here
2. Follow the directions on updating your phone firmware.
3. After the 35 minutes it takes the software to install, call cloning/fraud at the number below:

Cloning/Fraud Dept.
888 483-7200
Hours: M-F, 0500 – 1800 PST only

4. They will “verify” your phone via the following process:

• Dial #2539 – Authorization from verizon host, they send programming to phone.
• Turn phone radio off
• Tell support person when it’s off
• Turn phone radio on
• Tell support person when it’s on

NOTE: It’s very likely that over the air programming ( *228, option 1 )
will not work at this time since your phone has been flagged in
the system as being cloned. It may take a day or more for this to
clear. However, updating roaming ( *228, option 2 ) works.

After updating your phone, the firmware version displayed for the phone
firmware is Treo700p_-1.10-VZW.

According to a treocentral article on the interweb [0] and the Verizon
tech, this flaw is due to there being no AKEY shipped with the phone
firmware and has been known for quite some time. It’s just now coming
up in numbers as it’s been discovered at large. Most of the phone
numbers are being cloned to the Dominican Republic.

The importance of the A-Key is described well by this quote:

“Security of the A-Key is critical in a CDMA system. Over-the-Air
provisioning uses Diffie-Hellman algorithm, making it the best choice
for A-Key programming from the alternatives mentioned above.
Diffie-Hellman algorithm is used for secure key exchange between two
entities so that a third party cannot deduce the value in the process
of exchange.” [1]

What this basically boils down to is that all the information required
to clone a phone is being broadcast unencrypted over the air for anyone
to partake of with very little effort.

Thank you so much, Verizon.

Adding insult to injury, not only did I lose use of my phone for an
entire weekend because my phone got nabbed on a Friday night and VZW
fraud/cloning works banker hours, but I had to perform a 90 minute hokey
pokey to get the new software installed, call back to VZW and then do
the hokey pokey, turn the phone off and on with VZW on the phone.

–HalfDime

[0] http://discussion.treocentral.com/showthread.php?p=1477412

[1] Over-The-Air Provisioning in CDMA, Rohini P.P., Gemplus Technologies, October 2004
http://www.cdg.org/resources/white_papers/files/Gemplus%20Over-The-Air%20Provisoning%20in%20CDMA%20Oct%2004.pdf

written by halfdime

At least some of you know that I’m LDS and am active in my church.

I am not perfect and am not what you would call a typical member.

That said, I had an experience two weeks ago that made me laugh so hard that I was light-headed by the time I could slow down my laughing enough to breathe right.

Church is broken down into three parts and in the last part, I meet with the young men that I work with every Wednesday evening (and camp with once a month, but that’s another story).

During the last meeting, we were talking about General Conference, the semi-annual world wide meeting of the church. The meetings are held the first weekend of April and October each year.

The question asked of the boys was, “When is the next General Conference?”

To this, the boys looked at each other for a couple of seconds. When nobody was able to answer, I provided a subtle hint, “It’s in a month that begins with an ‘O’.”

Let’s pause here to identify the calendar that I’m speaking about. I can imagine that you’re familiar with it but here we go:

1. January
2. February
3. March
4. April
5. May
6. June
7. July
8. August
9. September
10. Obedience
11. November
12. December

If you looked carefully, you’ll have picked out the boy’s answer.

Yes, Obedience it was.

Of course, this wasn’t funny enough, the other leader in the room had to pipe up with, “No. That would be Ramadan.”

If you’re wondering, this didn’t help me get any air.

All of the boys took turns noting how red I was turning.

It was awesome.

written by halfdime \\ tags: religion