Eschew Obfuscation

As I’m wont to blog about a number of technical things, I find that I’m thinking about personalities in the IT landscape.

To that end, I wanted to jot down the broad categories of people as I see them in the IT world. As far as I’m concerned, there are only really four classes of people in IT.

The Closet Geek
We all know the stereotypical geek who has bad hair, acne a chronic clothing problem and lacks the social finesse necessary to successfully buy candy at a drug store for fear of interacting with a clerk of the opposite sex. The seemingly dominant personality traits in this type of person is hard to find due to the overwhelming lack of self confidence in a social setting. This is the person that they make movies about and that some people believe can shoot energy rays out of their noses [1].

The Casual Geek
These folks can be hard to spot by other casuals and are often targeted by Alpha’s without a moral backing. The most notable trait these folks have is an absolute passion for computer hardware (everything from PC hardware to gadgets). A common mistake that’s made on their resume is considering using the record function in Excel to be programming. There are scores of these folks working at retail computer establishments doing a great job helping folks determine the best of consumer grade electronics. My most recent encounters with this class of geek has been through IBM support but that’s another story entirely.

The Alpha Geek
These are the closet geek escapees. They’ve managed to become functional in a social setting and some may actually excel in social situations.[2] Frequently alpha’s come off as arrogant due to the, “I NEED TO BE RIGHT” setting in their brains. Patience with anything that isn’t interesting (like people) is often in short supply. The irony of this is that the social ability of alpha’s puts them in constant contact with people who are going to ask that the obvious be explained ONE MORE TIME! If you’re not the one asking for the explanation, it can be quite entertaining to prolong this process and watch the alpha’s head near bursting.

The Non Geek
You know who you are. If you’re reading my blog, we won’t be talking about you any more because we’re really only interested in flavors of geeks here, right? Ok, maybe not. The non-geek in an IT setting is really fun. This is the person that everyone looks at and asks, “You’re not offended by profanity, are you?” Regardless of the answer, this is quickly followed by a quick string of obscenities.

If you’ve kept with me to this point, you’re probably wanting to know what this has to do with the topic line at all.

It’s the interaction of the various groups in an IT environment. Mix in one of each class from above and sit each down with or without alcohol (preferably with for at least one) and wait for the topics to move. It’s a great to watch the verbal gymnastics to get to the topic that each excels at so that they can stick it to each other.

Some of the best humor I have ever been witness to has come from seeing someone go from the euphoria of a great quip to the low of being zapped themselves. The creative juices required to be flexible enough to laugh and still come off as a know-it-all prick is what I like to call, Creative Curmudgeonry.

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[1] Let’s be honest. That’s the biggest thing on their body and likely dispenses a multi-jigawatt bolt if they’ve put any effort into “enhancements.”
[2] I believe that some of the closet dwellers were actually dragged out by their parents and dropped in a vat of toxic sludge and that changed their personality.

written by halfdime