I feel like a bad parent.
My blog is withering under my hand.
I’m wondering at the things that I have to say and find myself doubting the validity and relevance.
So very often I find myself thinking, “That would be a cool thing to put on my blog,” only to be lax and not write down the idea stub or later discard the idea as being non-relevant to those who would read it.
So I’m going to ask you, my dedicated reader, what would you like to see here?
What topics do YOU believe I should commit to the intartubes?
— OK. Enough of that. On with the show. —
As I’m wont from time to time, I wonder about the things that have transpired in the past. My past really. I can’t dwell too much on the choices and actions of those before me other than to try to avoid their gross errors.
Far too often, I find that I speak without thinking about the true consequences of my words. I admit that I’m rarely out to cause harm. Most often I find that these things come about from my love of seeing people smile. This doesn’t necessarily ease the impact had on someone that believes my intent to be otherwise.
The other outcome frequented by this problem is that folks may consider me to flippant or an idiot. If flippant, then trust cannot be engendered in our relationship because it’s possible that they believe that I’m incapable of a serious answer. If idiotic, well, that’s just bad.
Overcoming this dilemma is indeed difficult for me. I have a really hard time making life more serious than it already is. Life has a way of being serious when it needs to be all on its own. If I add drama to the mix just because I choose to, I’m not really helping anything, I’m just being dramatic. I’m really not a very good actor, so drama just makes me look foolish. Reference my earlier comment about being considered an idiot.
So what does this all have to do with time? As time has passed, I’ve become more an more comfortable with who and what I am. Not necessarily confident in myself so much as accepting of the things that can be considered merits and flaws of my character.
I realize that there are things about me that are considered socially good and those that are socially notsogood.
As time goes on, I’m hopeful that I will be able to change the things that I find to be broken and garner acceptance in others for those things that I may not do “according to the book.”
To me, time seems to be a warm friend guiding me towards all that is beautiful.
I pray that I can help others along their path and learn from them at the same time.
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