Sep 16

When considering the things in life I’ve done and the various hazardous situations I’ve found/put myself in, I wonder at times what my true fascination is with fire.

No, really.  I must have something wired backwards in my head.

My internal dialogue goes something like this:

“Oh, look.  That’s a fire.”

“I bet it’s hot.”

“Oh, I doubt it’s nearly as hot as that OTHER fire we saw the other day.”

“You think so, eh?  How could we test that out?”

“I’d just stick my hand in there.  To make it scientific, count the number of singed hairs in a two second exposure.”

“Right!”

I suppose writing about it only puts me into the raving lunatic camp.

*sigh*

At the end of the day, I suppose the really marvelous thing is that people still come to me for advice with fire.

“Hey.  Nice fire there.  How hot do you think it is?”

“S’not that hot.  Look, here.  You can just barely make out the blisters forming under the blackened skin….!”

written by halfdime \\ tags:

May 14

As I’m wont to blog about a number of technical things, I find that I’m thinking about personalities in the IT landscape.

To that end, I wanted to jot down the broad categories of people as I see them in the IT world. As far as I’m concerned, there are only really four classes of people in IT.

The Closet Geek
We all know the stereotypical geek who has bad hair, acne a chronic clothing problem and lacks the social finesse necessary to successfully buy candy at a drug store for fear of interacting with a clerk of the opposite sex. The seemingly dominant personality traits in this type of person is hard to find due to the overwhelming lack of self confidence in a social setting. This is the person that they make movies about and that some people believe can shoot energy rays out of their noses [1].

The Casual Geek
These folks can be hard to spot by other casuals and are often targeted by Alpha’s without a moral backing. The most notable trait these folks have is an absolute passion for computer hardware (everything from PC hardware to gadgets). A common mistake that’s made on their resume is considering using the record function in Excel to be programming. There are scores of these folks working at retail computer establishments doing a great job helping folks determine the best of consumer grade electronics. My most recent encounters with this class of geek has been through IBM support but that’s another story entirely.

The Alpha Geek
These are the closet geek escapees. They’ve managed to become functional in a social setting and some may actually excel in social situations.[2] Frequently alpha’s come off as arrogant due to the, “I NEED TO BE RIGHT” setting in their brains. Patience with anything that isn’t interesting (like people) is often in short supply. The irony of this is that the social ability of alpha’s puts them in constant contact with people who are going to ask that the obvious be explained ONE MORE TIME! If you’re not the one asking for the explanation, it can be quite entertaining to prolong this process and watch the alpha’s head near bursting.

The Non Geek
You know who you are. If you’re reading my blog, we won’t be talking about you any more because we’re really only interested in flavors of geeks here, right? Ok, maybe not. The non-geek in an IT setting is really fun. This is the person that everyone looks at and asks, “You’re not offended by profanity, are you?” Regardless of the answer, this is quickly followed by a quick string of obscenities.

If you’ve kept with me to this point, you’re probably wanting to know what this has to do with the topic line at all.

It’s the interaction of the various groups in an IT environment. Mix in one of each class from above and sit each down with or without alcohol (preferably with for at least one) and wait for the topics to move. It’s a great to watch the verbal gymnastics to get to the topic that each excels at so that they can stick it to each other.

Some of the best humor I have ever been witness to has come from seeing someone go from the euphoria of a great quip to the low of being zapped themselves. The creative juices required to be flexible enough to laugh and still come off as a know-it-all prick is what I like to call, Creative Curmudgeonry.


[1] Let’s be honest. That’s the biggest thing on their body and likely dispenses a multi-jigawatt bolt if they’ve put any effort into “enhancements.”
[2] I believe that some of the closet dwellers were actually dragged out by their parents and dropped in a vat of toxic sludge and that changed their personality.

written by halfdime

Apr 29

So I’ve started this insidious little creature known as a blog. I think about it all the time.

I start a thought and then immediately diverge to, “Hey! That would be a good thing to blog about.”

Then I start to compose the blog post in my head and realize it’s, at best, a sound bite worth of information and really isn’t getting anything accomplished in line with my goal for this blog.

So I discard the idea and move on to something else.

After a few seconds, the person sitting across from me who said something that set off the whole chain of events in my little mental detour starts to get a concerned look on their face. You know the look. That, “Hey STUPID! I’m over here.” Pretty soon, it changes to the, “Is he having a seizure” look and if left too long, it becomes the wake up slap.

I’m fully aware of my problem with shiny objects and my coworkers (and my wife to a certain extent) are familiar with the problem and exploit it often.

This new blog thought-hijacking that is going on is just disturbing.

I think I need to find a qualified blunt-trauma specialist to knock some sense back into my dome.

Nah. I think I’ll just take a cue from my daughter and talk until someone hurts me. If I use a tape recorder, I should get at least a month’s worth of blog entries out of it before I lose consciousness.

written by halfdime

Apr 08
  • If you come home at o-dark-thirty and your wife says, “You’re home early.”…
  • If you have a computer that’s over ten years old and you’re lamenting you can’t get RAM for it…
  • If you can’t name all the layers of the OSI model but know which layer http is on…
  • If you hate programmers (because you would’ve written it better)…
  • If you’ve thought of killing someone for top posting…
  • If you know of more than 2 IRC servers that are poorly configured…
  • If EHLO makes perfect sense to you…
  • If seeing SYNACKRST makes you twitch…
  • If you’ve ever typed, “AFK. WMA.” into an IRC chat…

Ah the things I think about when moving.

Oh, and for those of you so inclined, meet the bumper dumper.

My favorite t-shirt image from the site:

written by halfdime

Apr 02

I’m getting around to reading my google reader.

Of course I’m behind. Shut up!

So I see this one Jonathan Schwartz’s Blog: Give it Back and quickly recognize it as an April fool’s joke. The best part of the read is the last paragraph and one of the reader comments (no, it’s not me).

The reader posts this horror from the past as his response to Schwartz.

written by halfdime